Maxine Monday

The following was recieved in my email this morning and I know of quite a few people that would agree "Hands Down" on this little tid-bit... and I even ran it through SNOPES.com and Yes, it is an urban legend, I still tend to lean a bit towards the fact that "challenged" people at work can make your day a bit more trying! It being Maxine Monday, I thought it would go hand in hand with her infinite wisdom!! Since I couldn't get the picture to show up larger without distorting the words, I've typed out the article for you all... ENJOY!

Working with idiots can kill you!

Idiots in the office are just as hazardous to your health as cigarettes, caffeine or greasy food, an eye-opening new study reveals.

In fact, those dopes can kill you! Stress is one of the top causes of heart attacks - and working with stupid peole on a daily basis is one of the deadliest forms of stress, according to researchers at Sweden's Linbergh University Medical Centre.

The author of the study, Dr. Dagmar Anderson, says her team studied 500 heart patients, and were puzzled to find 64 percent had relatively few of the physcial risk factors commonly blamed for heart attacks.

"Then we questioned them about lifestyle habits, and almost all of these low-risk patients told us they worked with people so stupid they can barely find their way fromt eh parking lot to their office. And their heart attack came less than 12 hours after having a major confrontation with one of these oafs.

"One woman had to be rushed to the hospital after her assistant shredded important company tax documents instead of copying them. A man told us he collapsed righ at his desk because the woman at the next cubicle kept asking him for correction fluid - for her computer monitor.

"You can cut back on smoking or improve your diet," Dr. Andersson says, "but most people have very poor coping skills when it comes to stupidity - they feel there's nothing they can do about it, so they just internalise thier frustration until they finally explode."

Stupid co-workers can also double or triple someone's work load, she explains. "Many of our sujects feel sorry for the drooling idiots they work with, so they try to cover for them by fixing their mistakes. One poor woman spen a week rebuilding client records because a clerk put them all in the 'recycle bin' of her computer and then emptied it - she thought it meant the records would be recycled and used again."

Maxine Monday

Happy Labor Day!

*With that being said... here's one for the women in reference to work around the house.

PHILOSOPHY OF HOUSECLEANING!

I don't do windows because ...

I love birds and

don't want one to run into a clean window

and get hurt.
~
I don't wax floors because ...

I am terrified a guest will slip and get hurt

then I'll feel terrible

( plus they may sue me.)
~
I don't mind the dust bunnies because ...

They are very good company,

I have named most of them,

and they agree with everything I say.
~
I don't disturb cobwebs because .

I want every creature to have a home of their own.
~
I don't Spring Clean because .

I love all the seasons

and don't want the others to get jealous
~
I don't pull weeds

in the garden because ..

I don't want to get

in God's way,

HE is an excellent designer!

~
I don't put things away because .

My husband

will never be able to find them again.
~
I don't do gourmet meals
when I entertain because .

I don't want my guests to

stress out over what to make when

they invite me

over for dinner.
~
I don't iron because ...

I choose to believe them

when they say "Permanent Press".
~

I don't stress much on anything because ...

"A Type" personalities die young and

I want to stick around

and become a wrinkled up crusty ol' woman!!!
~
REMEMBER . . . .

Maxine Monday

In all her glory!!!

Well, we had a rather busy week-end... but all in all, it was a pleasant one. Aside from working half a day on Saturday, we were able to enjoy a day at the ball park, PC went off to the gun range, and we also had the chance to help some good friends celebrate their three daughters graduating from college, all three at the same time. A feat to be proud of as a parent and as a child.

The game at the Astros, well, it was a good run while we were there, I'm not good at play by play calls, but there were some real good moments.

HOUSTON -- Brad Lidge had Ryan Braun and the Brewers down to their final out and delivered what he considered to be as good a pitch as he could possibly have made in arguably the most critical game yet of Houston's 2007 season.

But in a moment that epitomized the entire Astros season thus far, even a well-laid plan and the closer's best pitch both went wrong.

With two on and two out and a 1-1 count, Lidge snapped what he called his "best" slider, sending it diving well out of the strike zone and toward Braun's feet. But somehow, Braun, the likely runaway choice for Rookie of the Year, golfed it into the back of the Crawford Boxes for a game-winning three-run home run in a 7-4 Milwaukee victory in front of 41,461 fans at Minute Maid Park. The loss leaves the Astros 10 1/2 games back of the first-place Brewers.

more here:

Rodriguez sharp, but Lidge falters

As you can see, We had a good time...

Maxine and Scattering Seeds of Kindness

This is a repost of sorts from my other site, so bear with me as I felt drawn to share it in here as well...

As I woke yesterday morning at 5:55 am, I found myself praying for my children, I will always follow my prayer for my children with a prayer for my family and their families... how often, though, do we forget to pray for our friends and their families, their trials and tribulations? We think of them as we go through our day, but how often do we put them in our prayers or thank God for their friendship and for bringing them in to our lives? They are a blessing indeed.

In all my years, I can count on one hand my true friends... I'm blessed. I am by far, the perfect friend, but, I can only hope that I can show "trustworthiness, loyalty, helpfulness, kindness, understanding, forgiveness, encouragement, humor, and cheerfulness." This week alone, I have seen a few friends of mine go through some trials, let downs, disappointments, grief even.

A woman at work that I greet every morning as we go to the dining room and get ready for our day, lost her mother yesterday. Her mother lives in Columbia, she was told that she was gravely ill and not improving. She was not in any situation to pull the money together ($1,200.00 in American money) to go and be by her side. The Gangrene had already taken her leg, up to her knee... they realized after the amputation that it had taken a life of its' own in the rest of her body. All I could do was offer my prayers to her and her family and if it was any comfort, I gave her my Clinging Cross pendant. My prayers go out to her family and friends.

I have recently, I say recently, but... in 2005, gained a Best Friend off of MySpace. She has truly been a blessing for me as I now have someone that I can turn to on my days of trials and tribulations for comfort and understanding.

There are two other friends that have still stayed in touch and remain very dear friends since my days of being a school bus driver in 1998. Then I have another dear friend that we have been friends since Grade School. We don't talk every day, or once a week, but we know that the other is there when we really need each other. We speak maybe once a month to every other month. So with that in mind... I leave you all with todays Daily Devotion.

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.

Romans 12:10 NIV

What is a friend? the dictionary defines the word as "a person who is attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard." This definition is accurate, as far as it goes, but when we examine the deeper meaning of friendship, so many more descriptors come to mind: trustworthiness, loyalty, helpfulness, kindness,
understanding, forgiveness, encouragement, humor, and cheerfulness to mention
but a few.

How wonderful are the joys of friendship! Today, as you consider the many blessings that God has given you, remember to thank Him for the friends He has chosen to place along your path. May you be a blessing to them, and may they richly bless you today, tomorrow, and every day that you live.

A Thought to Jump Start Your Day

A person who really cares about his or her neighbor, a
person who genuinely loves others, is a person who bears witness to the truth.

Anne Graham Lotz

Maxine Monday and Cats

Well, it's been a while and Maxine makes her rounds (on occasion) and today is a day for her to bless us with her infamous wisdom!

People often ask me, "Maxine, should I get a cat, or should I get a dog?" I reply, "Neither. You should get lost."

Still -- and I would never admit this to them -- it is a good question. There are many things you should ask yourself before getting a pet. For example, "AM I NUTS! I can just barely live with myself! Why do I want a pet?"

Trust me, some winter's night when you're under your quilt and the dog is sleeping peacefully at your side, you'll know the answer to that question. Because that's when the cat will leap from the dresser and attach itself to your face like one of those sucky things from "Alien," waking up the dog, who will leave claw marks on your belly as he takes off across the room after the cat. At that moment, you'll know the answer to your question is, "Yes, indeed, I am nuts."

Enjoy... more here

CATS C-A-T-S

When my cat's aren't happy, I'm not happy. Not because I care about their mood but because I know they're just sitting there thinking up ways to get even.

When I meow, it means...

I am hungry...I want food in my bowl...I want food in my bowl right now...I want to go out...I want to come in...Brush me...Get my cat toy out from under the sofa...It's time to change the litter...I just put a mouse in the bureau drawer...I did not breakt that vase...Get me down from this tree...Please kill the dog next door...Hello...Good-bye...

Useless

Sir Wally

Maxine Monday

So... I'm back from our mini vacation. Went down to Corpus and stayed out in Padre Island. Can't say much for the weather, but atleast there wasn't a hurricane going through!!! It was overcast up until Saturday as we headed out for dinner, but I still managed to get out to the beach and dawn my new bikini top!! Yes, I had bottoms on, but not the matching ones that came with the top, I opted to go with some white shorts to match my white "Hello Kitty" top. The short time on the beach was nice, I wasn't out to get a tan as I had made sure that I would be tanned for the trip itself. All in all, I had a wonderful week-end relaxing and enjoying my time with the women and my man after he was done with his conference meetings.

I didn't get much of pictures from the week-end, I took no laptop with me, didn't really touch a computer the whole time I was there, so what I did manage to get of pictures was with my trusty little cell phone camera.

It's Maxine Monday....

Maxine Monday

Today's Maxine Monday is a sore (and I mean "SORE") reminder of my most recent endeavors of hitting the gym and the weights to obtain a decent and healthy look for our trip to Corpus next week.

I normally wouldn't share such pictures, but the changes that have been noted are pretty awesome!! I started out on April 17th and as you can see, I don't take the best pics in this world! It takes a miracle to get a good picture of me... lol... Here is a "Before"

(not a good one at that, not the photographers fault, more like mine) I have to say that I was embarrassed to receive this picture as I am not happy with the way I was carrying myself. My posture sucked majorly and what the hell with what looks like a double chin???? Anyway, here we are almost two months down the road and PC took a picture at about one month "After"...

There is definitely a difference (slight as it may be and No People, that is not my weights that I'm working with) but a good difference, especially in my posture and how I was carrying myself. I use to pride myself that I always use to carry myself in such a confident manner... what changed? Hmmmmm....

Well, we are almost at two months down the road and yesterday we sat down at dinner time and discussed what my work out routine should be like. I have my little notebook with all my routine laid out, I'll have to share it after I get in to the groove of it. Needless to say, it will be a routine that will take alot of devotion and commitment on my part, but... I'm ready!!! I now have all that I need to work out at home if I can't make it to the gym, so no excuses.

I was sharing with PC how I see a major difference in my muscle tone already in my legs and well.... other areas that were of concern to me! Looking forward to more pictures of the changes that are taking place.

Such the life of a Mexpsychan...

Maxine Monday

This is funny, we would all love to do something like this.

This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas.

They hired him because he was so funny.....

NAME: Jack Buckley (Grumpy Bastard)

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place ?

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.!

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no!

On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE....7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

***Old People Rock! ***

Maxine Monday

It was Armed Forced Day on Saturday, hope everyone had a wonderful week-end!!

I vaguely remember something like this on Saturday, only thing is I remember hearing;

"Drop and give me three sets of 12 pushups, " *You need to understand that the "manly" pushups are freakin' intense, but I did them, no girly pushups here. I know, I know, you are probably thinking "12?" You Pansy!" That's right! I'm a pansy! But I am a proud PANSY!!

We can't forget...

"Do two sets of lunges with two 15 lb. weights from one side of the yard to the other, twice." *Yeah, yeah... a pansy again!! You are probably thinking "ONLY 15 lb. weights?", Well, I'm just a beginner, I'll be bench pressing PC by the end of the year!!! LOL!!! Yea... Right!! more like he can bench press me!!! "Next, Overhead presses", "Alternate Overhead presses", "Now, butterflies", Now some Rows".... I'm not complaining mind you... But Maxine saying "Drop and give me 20 "Thank You's!" Is what I find myself doing after seeing a change in my body all together! Gotta love those "Personal Trainers"!!! Atleast mine that is! ;)

Wait upon the Lord . . .

After starting a new diet I altered my drive to work to avoid passing my favorite bakery. I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning, and as I approached, there in the window were a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed ... "Lord, it's up to you, if you want me to have any of those delicious goodies, create a parking place for me directly in front of the bakery." And sure enough, on the eighth time around the block, there it was!

God is so Good!"

Maxine Monday

A minister was completing a Temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river." With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river." And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river." Sermon complete, he sat down.

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, nearly laughing, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365, "Shall We Gather at the River."

Maxine Monday

She's been just as tired as I have, but she still has her wit about her, *alteast someone does around here! LOL...

And to go along with Maxine's infinite wisdom, I have to brag and claim that I might be following her advice since I am now the proud owner of a bicycle!

I mentioned in an earlier post, the little fact that I have never owned a bicycle! NEVER!!! In all my 45 years of existence I've never owned one.

To this day, people, I have never owned my own bicycle (I feel like Phoebe on Friends)! I remember being so upset that I couldn't have a bicycle as all my friends did and one day I decided to ride my friends bike. I couldn't let mom find out so we went to the end of the street where she couldn't see me. Well, upon getting on the bicycle, I immediately fell off and skinned my knee. I was too scared of what mom was going to do that I didn't even cry. I had a large gaping hole in my knee, I knew that I was going to have to go home and get it looked at, you could see the knee cap cartlidge. Well, upon getting home and going to mom, she asked the inevitable question "How did this happen?" I couldn't lie, I just knew better. So.... she went and retrieved a bottle of rubbing alcohol and "poured" it on my knee, right over the gaping hole. No kisses, no hugs, no tender words.... "This will teach you not to go against me!"

More of that here: Guns, Toys, Kids, Growing Up, Life....

Well, PC bought me my first bicycle Saturday, we went on a nice little evening ride and I have to say, I can see myself buying me a helmet, knee pads, elbow pads and any other type of protective gear that is needed for a first time rider!!! When he instructed me to stop, I put my feet down to stop myself!! All I remember is PC saying, "Use the brakes, the brakes...!!" What can I say, but that this is all foreign to me!!! I'm definitely looking forward to some more evening rides.... Thank you PC! ILY

Maxine Monday and 6 AM going on 11 PM UPDATE:

First Maxine's thoughts for the day...

With that being said.... on to my update of my previous post.

Ok, so, I remember leaving work at 1:30 am, exhausted and drained, mentally numb from going, computer to computer all over the grounds, manually downloading and installing updates and upgrading 61 computers to Office 2003 (don't ask). I do remember the lights being blinding as I drove out and home, even at times, things being a bit fuzzy. Next thing I knew it was 3:30 am. Somehow I feel like I was abducted by aliens on my ride home from work at 1:30 am. I was finally getting in to bed at 4:30 am and having a very hard time sleeping. I was all over that King size bed... all to wake up at 9 am and start the day.

What's bad is today we are dealing with unlimited calls from staff, that can't log in to their computers, forgot their passwords, I'm locked out of my system, yadda, yadda, yadda... I'll be working late again today. PC, start making plans to spend my money, start shopping for all the guns my OT can buy... I'm going to be too tired to spend it.

Can the aliens abduct me again????

I have to say a big thank you to PC for taking care of me on Sunday... made sure I took a good nap and suggested (firmly) that I turn off my cell or my kids would be calling and disturbing my nap. Thank you babe! ILY

Maxine Monday

Defense Attorney:
Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady:
I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney:
Did you know him?

Little Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney:
What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady:
No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me now!"

Defense Attorney:
Did he take you?

Little Old Lady:
Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.

Maxine Monday

I will strive to up-hold "International Goof-Off Day"!!!

Maxine Monday

It's been a while since I've posted anything for "Maxine Monday". Since starting my new job, I have not had much time to get on here during the day, and by the time I get home, it's almost 7pm (if I'm lucky) and I have to work out, eat dinner, catch up with Useless (or clean his mess) and attempt to get something done in the apartment cleaning wise. By the end of all of this "routine" I am ready for bed.



So... I found this to be the most perfect posting for reinstating my Maxine Mondays!!! I think "someone" will agree with this one... lol...