After being interviewed by the school administration, the eager
teaching prospect said:
"Let me see if I've got this right. You want me to go into that room
with all those kids, and fill their every waking moment with a love
for learning, and I'm supposed to instill a sense of pride in their
ethnicity, modify their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs
of abuse and even censor their T-shirt messages and dress habits.
You want me to wage a war on drugs and sexually transmitted
diseases, check their backpacks for weapons of mass destruction, and
raise their self esteem. You want me to teach them patriotism, good
citizenship, sportsmanship, fair play, how to register to vote, how
to balance a checkbook, and how to apply for a job.
I am to check their heads for lice, maintain a safe environment,
recognize signs of anti-social behavior, make sure all students pass
the state exams, even those who don't come to school regularly or
complete any of their assignments.
Plus, I am to make sure that all of the students with handicaps get
an equal education regardless of the extent of their mental or
physical handicap. I am to communicate regularly with the parents by
letter, telephone, newsletter and report card.
All of this I am to do with just a piece of chalk, a computer, a few
books, a bulletin board, a big smile AND on a starting salary that
qualifies my family for food stamps! You want me to do all of this
and then you tell me...
I CAN'T PRAY?"
