XMas 2007

My oldest couldn't be with us, but he was in my thoughts and prayers and most of all, in my heart the whole day through.

(My daughter caught me speaking to him on the phone...)

Reflections

Since our trip back to my home town, seeing all my family; brothers, sister, mom, cousins (cousins, I hadn't seen since I was in diapers as I was informed), I have been reflecting on "family" alot.

Anyone that knows me, I mean "really" knows me, knows that "FAMILY" is EVERYTHING to me. I know that some of you (or many) know and understand the emotion and the tie that I speak about. I would die for my family and protect them to any extent and do what I can to help.

Every morning and every night, I always lift up my family in prayer. I am in such a better place these last two years of my life, and I can only thank God for the path that I have been put on. I can proudly say that my priorities are: God, family and job, and I hope to pass on the importance of that order to my children. I have not been perfect when it comes to those priorities. I have placed "other" things as #1 and am now having to fight desperately to make up for that. Not to say that God or family were totally forgotten, because they weren't, but they definitely were not placed in the order that they should be. I'm not a perfect Christian/Catholic, girl/woman, I'm definitely NOT a perfect mother, but again, I'm fighting desperately to earn that lost time back and needless to say, God first, family second, then job and "Other Matters".

I have learned that, life is short, and family is always there, no matter what. Friends have come and gone, there are a very select few, and I do mean "FEW" people (in fact, I can count on one hand) that I can call friends, that have stayed in touch throughout the changes that life has thrown upon me and them. But family, FAMILY is still there! They love you unconditionally (for the most part), yes we can disagree, argue, etc... but we all get over it and when you are at the end of your rope and life is throwing you curves after curves and surprises after surprises, mountains and seas of emotions, I have always been able to count on family for advice, support, strength, courage and even some shoulders to cry on. I had to listen and take advice that I really wasn't ready to hear, or willing to hear, but they give it any way, because they really do care and they only want the best for me.

Before you know it though, time has passed us by and has stolen some precious moments, moments that can never, NEVER, be recovered. My Dad passed away five months before my baby daughter was born, Jan. 16, 1987. It killed us all! It killed me even more, because I lost alot of precious time with him that I could never get back. It still hurts, but I know, I know that I am bringing a smile to his face now. **Dad... I know you're with me every day and I have to say... God has brought a very wonderful man to my life and I'm happy now and he reminds me alot of you. He has all your qualities and characteristics and that makes him even more special to me. I felt you with us when we were in El Paso and I know that I have your blessings too.

Mom isn't getting younger, her mind and heart though,is that of a young girl, still laughs and remembers so very much. I can only hope that I can be that young in mind and spirit when I gt to be her age. *I hope to see you in December mom.

Mom, recently said goodbye to her house that was bought for her and earned hard by my dad. It wasn't easy for her, just as it wasn't easy for any of us to see our childhood memories, flooded and ripped apart by nature and thieves. After the house was sold, thieves came through and stole whatever they could, even if it was attached to the house, bolted down. They stripped it. They stripped the iron work fence where the flooding water broke through the wall, they stole the iron work door, windows, the heating unit in the house. It was sad to see, but the memories WILL live on.

This is what's left right now of my childhood, "Childhood turned ghost town". What you see are abandoned cars, no one lives there now. The entire two streets plus a few apartments down the main road of Durazno were bought out by the city. Thieves have now taken over.

Take this time to cherish every moment you have with family....! Never take it for granted, The time you lose can never be regained or made up.

I found the following poem and I have to say thank you to the author for the words so eloquently put.

I love my family so much.

To be apart of a family like mine

is so divine

where love is shown hurt is shared

our love for each other is never impaired

we talk

we laugh

we cry

but we are a family

and we do it all together

for as a family

we do it all as one

you hurt one

you hurt all

and as a family unit

we will all stand tall

for we are family a family

full of strength

a family full of love

a family no one can touch

that's why I love my family so much.

~Mahfooz Ali

TURN IT UP! TURN IT UP LOUD!!!"How You Live" by Point of Grace

Childhood memories relived, Family Cherished

Work is extremely busy, came back from vacation with many wonderful memories, but lots of work and hitting the ground running!! Either way, nothing can ruin the wonderful week-end experienced with family...

more pictures to come...

Maxine Monday

Well, Monday has come and gone and this post has been in the works since then. Work has been extremely busy and with me leaving out of town on Friday, I'm trying to get as much done as possible. So here she is...

Maxine in all her glory...

So... as I get ready to fly home to El Paso and see my family, I figured Maxine had the perfect wisdom for the upcoming event. I love my family, they are a bit on the nutty side, but they are mine! All mine!! As you can tell by the picture, it's an old one(then again we are all old) lol...), the picture was taken in 2004. Mom , my brothers and sister, as well as myself have aged. In fact, aging is the reason why we are headed to El Paso, my brother on the far right is turning the big 50!!! A milestone!! LOL!!! Yea... they are all a bit on the nutty side, but I wouldn't take them any other way! Besides, they have their baby sister that is just as nutty or nuttier at that!

El Paso has it's history... I wouldn't go back home to live, but I do have some good memories back there and of course, my mom, my sister and two brothers. I am extremely looking forward to this trip though for more reasons than the obvious, seeing family.... my whole family gets to meet PC for the first time ever! It will be a family reunion and that is what makes the trip even better.

I know for me, it's home, it's where my roots are, but there's something about Hell Paso that just keeps me from going back for good. When I went through my first divorce, I remember mom calling me and telling me to consider moving back home... it hurt me to have to tell her that I couldn't do it. I had "nothing" to go back to. I wasn't trying to be disrespectful, but the economy in El Paso is not going anywhere, so much that I tell PC, it's like going back in time, every time I visit. The music doesn't change, the styles and fashion doesn't change, nothing changes, at least I don't see it. I could not find a job that pays me what I get paid here in the Houston area. My sister advised me against going back, she knew I had a better chance in doing something better with myself here in Houston than in El Paso, and I can say that she was right.

I remember driving every year to go see family. A tradition? Just something that was? I don't know, but I remember corralling all three kids out of bed at 5 am in to the van and heading out for the 12 - 13 hour drive. In saying that, it brings to mind of a picture of my daughter asleep in the back seat of the van while we are in-route to El Paso. We'd pack an ice chest with sandwiches, drinks and snacks. Magazines, games, books, Cd's, CD player for each kid, blankets, pillows and suitcases. All set, ready to go... yea... I remember!

I also remember making pit stops along the way to and from El Paso, images of the kids taking a break on the side of the road, especially an image of my daughter in diapers (as it was hot). OK, so even an image of me comes to mind... goofing off on the side of the road as we took a break! The picture posted at right, I'm wearing a shirt that says "El Paso Bound". The playfulness and silliness of me acting like an El Paso DIVA was just a way of letting go of some stress from the long ride home.

I get an image of my 26 year old, in 2005, (at the age of 24) playing "Air Guitar" and his brother taking a picture. That was the year that I took Albert, "Prince Albert", to leave him with my mom. That was a hard trip for me... Giving him up that is. I had Prince Albert since he was a puppy and it killed me to leave him in a cage for 10 hours at a time while I was at work. He was definitely a wonderful dog! Was very well behaved and very loving. Always could communicate with me when he had to go for a walk, although at times, he abused his gorgeous little "innocent" look. He use to always sit right by his leash and just wait patiently until we gave in and took him for a breath of fresh air. I think I even have a picture of him doing just that. Hmmmmm, more digging of pictures forthcoming... It will definitely be good to see him again. He always remembers me, and sleeps with me when I visit. Mom always tells him that I'm "Momma #1"... See you soon Prince Albert. I have to confess that mom was a bit upset when she learned that I had named him Albert though! You see, that was my dads' name. I had to explain that he wasn't named after Dad. To this day, I don't think I've convinced her of that. She has renamed him to "Pee Wee", one of our past dogs. Personally, I don't like it, so I still call him Albert, of course with mom screaming at me at the same time. lol...

That trip was definitely a memorable one, I had someone very special to come back to... Little did I know then how far that meeting for "one" beer would go.

We will most likely make a trip to Scenic Drive, maybe do a night run up there on Friday night,(Make it a bit of a romantic run... hehehe...) and Fort Bliss Cemetery (to pay my respects to Dad)

More to come as I reminisce. Pictures too...

A Very Well Worth Trip to Austin, Tx

I was blessed in going to Austin this past week-end to see my son. I have missed him dearly since his move. I am so proud of him... he's come a long way. I'm thankful to God for the opportunity for being able to make the trip and spending time with him.

(Mother and Son)

The pictures are a bit "smokey" mostly because we are in a club, Sky Lounge, visiting my nephew that I hadn't seen in about 8 years. He is a DJ in Austin and goes by DJ 2DQ. It was a blast seeing him as well. I remember the days of babysitting him, God, those were the days!!! He has his own childdren now!! I'm getting old!!! lol... None-the-less, the week-end was such a blessing! We had a few drinks and drank champaigne, and we were announced as "FAMILIA" was in the house and El Paso, TX and Houston, TX were "Representing in the House"... I've had my clubbing days, about 3 years ago, atleast this type of music and this type of scene was not new or foreign to me... but I did feel a bit like a duck out of water. It didn't take me long to start grooving to the beat though... lol!!!

A son is a wonderful blessing

A treasure from above

His laughter, warmth and special charm

His thoughtfulness and love

A son brings a special joy

That comes from deep inside

And as he grows to manhood

He fills your heart with pride

With every year that passes

He's more special than before

Through every stage, through every age

You love him even more

No words can describe the warm memories

The pride and gratitude, too

That comes from having a son

To love and to cherish...just like you.

I love you son, Con Todo Mi Corazon!

Childhood Faded Away

Well, mom said goodbye to "her" house yesterday. I received the pictures my sister took during her moments at the house, today in my email and I can't tell you how the images brought me to tears. This was the last time mom would be able to "physically" be able to touch and feel what my Dad worked so hard for, to give her and his children.

To bring some of you up to speed, you can go back to a few posts from August of 2006. I posted the following news from home;

Childhood home damaged in flood,

City of El Paso announces emergency measures, State Help.

Mom lost just about everything in the house, the one good thing that we can all thank God for, was the fact that mom was not there when the flood hit. The city bought out the whole entire neighborhood. Mom officially signed the papers about two weeks ago, and my sister just managed to get her over to the house to say her last goodbye's. I can see by the pictures that it truly hit mom hard to see it in person. She had seen the news at that time, and all she kept saying was "Mi pobre cacita, Mi cacita". So many memories, but I'm thankful for those memories, and thankful that we have mom for another Mothers Day...

Thank you Lord, for the many blessings you have bestowed upon us. Good things come from tragedies at times. Mom has a new house in a better subdivision now, but most of all, she has her life, her health and her children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren.

I have many memories to recall from my childhood: Guns, Toys, Kids, Growing Up, Life....

Childhood Faded away,

to a far away land,

simple, so simple were we,

Days of Play

Going our Way,

having fun, no care,

for another day,

time for us stood still,

plaing king of the hill,

Childhood Faded away,

thinking of another day,

summer time was fine,

when friends were kind,

swiming holes were filled,

our hearts were thrilled

Childhood Faded Away

to a time that makes me sway

many years have passed away

since childhood faded to another day,

Childhood Faded to places,

UNKNOWN TO US

floating somewhere in time.

wrote 1-15-07

Jim Foulk

To My Loving Son

My oldest son recently turned 26, this is for you son.

I miss you, and love you tremendously. You are growing to be such a wonderful man... I'm very proud of you!

Happy 26th Birthday....

I'll never forget that night in the hospital room, 3 O'clock in the morning, you were sound asleep in your crib... the doctors told me that you would never walk, talk, or be able to live a normal life. At the age of 9 months, my son was diagnosed with West's Syndrome (Infantile Spasms). I was alone and scared for my son, no-one to turn to for comfort, it was just you, me and God in that cold hospital room. I cried so much... but I knew in my heart, that you would be fine, we had family praying for you. For a whole year, I administered shots in to your leg(s) alternating every single day to help with the seizures.


Son... You beat ALL the odds! So much that they had doctor's from New York fly down to Old Hell Paso to see you! You are my miracle son! Take that thought and run with it! You can accomplish anything you want in this life! People giggle at the picture above, but I tell them proudly...


"He Beat All The Odds!"

I sit here in tears... just praising God for you!

As you celebrate your 26th birthday tonight with all your friends and your brother and sister there in Austin... be safe and keep these words in mind...

Crosby Killers Tug Of War Champions 1992

"Believe And You Will Achieve"

It may have been a struggle, but I have faith in you and I can only thank God for such a blessing he bestowed on me. I thank God for you every day. I believe that God has plans for you son! Never give up and never lose faith!! There are so many things I wish I could say that would let you know just how much I love you and how proud I am, but I leave you with these words...

"Always keep your goodness and never lose your love. For then, Son, you'll be rewarded with success in ways you never dreamed of."

"You can be head and shoulders above the crowd. You don't have to be a giant to be strong. Walk tall and be proud. All you have to be... is someone people look up to."

"In the course of time, you will be reminded that hard work gets good results and keeping healthy is essential. Know when to work your mind and let your body relax and know when doing just the opposite makes the most sense. Being able to handle whatever life brings your way is not a matter of coincidence."

"You've already got a good idea of what is expected of you and wished for you. One of the best things you can accomplish on life's pathway is to be a walking example of the golden rule. Don't let anyone fool you into thinking that it is worthless, it is one of the most valuable things you can do."

"You've got so many possibilities ahead! Don't be too quick to limit your choices of what to do, because you might limit your chances of unimagined joys that are waiting just for you."

"You've got a wonderful sense of humor and a good outlook on life. Let those qualities help to see you through when you're deciding where to go and you're not sure what to do."

"You've got a big heart. Keep it filled with happiness. You've got a fascinating mind. Keep finding new ways to grow. Keep yearning. Keep learning. Keep trying. Keep smiling. And keep remembering that a parent's love goes with you... everywhere you go."

I'm coming home Mom

I want to start off by wishing everyone a very Happy New Year. I am leaving this evening for the week-end to go home and see my family. My mom turned 85 yesterday and well... she's not getting any younger and we have been blessed to have her this long. I can only pray that she will live to see another birthday, God willing.

I want to say a big thank you to someone that has come to be very dear to me, for giving me the opportunity to go home and see my mom. I didn't think I was going to get to go home, with the new job and money wise, I just didn't think it was going to be possible. It was rather upsetting, but mom understood.

Anyway, I leave tonight at 7:45 pm and arrive there at 8:49 pm, they are one hour behind. I'm nervous as the weather is not the best, but I know that God will be looking over us. I just pray that I get through the check-in points!! I just had to replace all my make-up, so I hope that I have it packed right and they don't end up confiscating anything!!

So... Happy New Year to all my fellow bloggers and dear friends and family.

PC, I'll be seeing you real soon and I'm sure you'll stay busy with the kids this week-end that you won't remember who the Mexpsychan woman was that has been tagging along with you for the last year. lol... You know you'll miss me... ;) (ily babe)

Enjoy the view of El Paso, as this is where I'm headed.

FLEXERIL =

Sugar Cat + FLEXERIL = ONE PASSED OUT SUGAR CAT!!!

Unbeknownst to me (Sugar Cat) PC took this picture of me after passing out soon after taking a pain pill for my back. I found this on my desktop titled:

"SLEEPY"...

Never let your guard down!!!

Always, ALWAYS... Sleep with one eye open!!! LOL!!!

Family = Unconditional LOVE

Thanksgiving Day Pictures

Sugar Cat Family

Well, here are the pictures from Thanksgiving day, as I said I was able to enjoy my day with the most important people in my life, my three beautiful kids, my godson and Jay and his family. What more can anyone else want... I had so much to be thankful for! My kids always get nervous come dinner time, but my daughter did very well saying Grace... in her own way and in her own words, she said exactly what was felt in all our hearts...

Brother and Sister

Family is and has always been very important to me and with life never being a bed of roses, family is and has always been there, "unconditionally". I have also been very blessed this last year. Call it fate, chance, the Stars, luck or most of all, Gods plan... December 3rd, 2005 - a very wonderful man walked in to my life and I have been blessed enough to say that it has been a wonderful journey. Yes, I have so much to be thankful for...

Now this is what Thanksgiving is all about, family, good food, a comfy couch and a Useless Cat

(the feline that is...)

Family = Unconditional Love

Many human beings say "I love you" one day and reject you the next. That is not love. One whose heart is filled with the love of God cannot willfully hurt anyone. When you love God without reservation, He fills your heart with His unconditional love for all. That love no human tongue can describe....The ordinary man is incapable of loving others in this way. Self-centered in the consciousness of "I, me, and mine," he has not yet discovered the omnipresent God who resides in him and in all other beings.

I love you as you are, as you seek to find your own special way to relate to the
world, or the way you feel that is right for you. It is important that you are the person you want to be and not someone that I or others think you should be.

Gun Enthusiast "GONE WILD"

In a very quiet suburban neighborhood, enjoying a quiet Sunday, some people are going about their business, celebrating birthday parties, enjoying a round of golf nearby...

A man was reported to be on a rampage, chasing family down in the neighborhood. The quiet stillness had come to an end. It was reported that the man in question was an extreme Gun Enthusiast. No more information was available on the perp, but the following pictures were taken... If you know this man, please be ready to be shot with a "nerf" bullet that is reported to whistle past you "IF" he misses!!!

As you can see, he didn't find my sense of humor in all of this very "humurous"!!! LMAO!!! I got the look!!! HEH!!!!
Hey, atleast I didn't post a specific picture where HE was "hit"!!

Sage would have said it perfect....

'NUFF SAID"