Reflections

Since our trip back to my home town, seeing all my family; brothers, sister, mom, cousins (cousins, I hadn't seen since I was in diapers as I was informed), I have been reflecting on "family" alot.

Anyone that knows me, I mean "really" knows me, knows that "FAMILY" is EVERYTHING to me. I know that some of you (or many) know and understand the emotion and the tie that I speak about. I would die for my family and protect them to any extent and do what I can to help.

Every morning and every night, I always lift up my family in prayer. I am in such a better place these last two years of my life, and I can only thank God for the path that I have been put on. I can proudly say that my priorities are: God, family and job, and I hope to pass on the importance of that order to my children. I have not been perfect when it comes to those priorities. I have placed "other" things as #1 and am now having to fight desperately to make up for that. Not to say that God or family were totally forgotten, because they weren't, but they definitely were not placed in the order that they should be. I'm not a perfect Christian/Catholic, girl/woman, I'm definitely NOT a perfect mother, but again, I'm fighting desperately to earn that lost time back and needless to say, God first, family second, then job and "Other Matters".

I have learned that, life is short, and family is always there, no matter what. Friends have come and gone, there are a very select few, and I do mean "FEW" people (in fact, I can count on one hand) that I can call friends, that have stayed in touch throughout the changes that life has thrown upon me and them. But family, FAMILY is still there! They love you unconditionally (for the most part), yes we can disagree, argue, etc... but we all get over it and when you are at the end of your rope and life is throwing you curves after curves and surprises after surprises, mountains and seas of emotions, I have always been able to count on family for advice, support, strength, courage and even some shoulders to cry on. I had to listen and take advice that I really wasn't ready to hear, or willing to hear, but they give it any way, because they really do care and they only want the best for me.

Before you know it though, time has passed us by and has stolen some precious moments, moments that can never, NEVER, be recovered. My Dad passed away five months before my baby daughter was born, Jan. 16, 1987. It killed us all! It killed me even more, because I lost alot of precious time with him that I could never get back. It still hurts, but I know, I know that I am bringing a smile to his face now. **Dad... I know you're with me every day and I have to say... God has brought a very wonderful man to my life and I'm happy now and he reminds me alot of you. He has all your qualities and characteristics and that makes him even more special to me. I felt you with us when we were in El Paso and I know that I have your blessings too.

Mom isn't getting younger, her mind and heart though,is that of a young girl, still laughs and remembers so very much. I can only hope that I can be that young in mind and spirit when I gt to be her age. *I hope to see you in December mom.

Mom, recently said goodbye to her house that was bought for her and earned hard by my dad. It wasn't easy for her, just as it wasn't easy for any of us to see our childhood memories, flooded and ripped apart by nature and thieves. After the house was sold, thieves came through and stole whatever they could, even if it was attached to the house, bolted down. They stripped it. They stripped the iron work fence where the flooding water broke through the wall, they stole the iron work door, windows, the heating unit in the house. It was sad to see, but the memories WILL live on.

This is what's left right now of my childhood, "Childhood turned ghost town". What you see are abandoned cars, no one lives there now. The entire two streets plus a few apartments down the main road of Durazno were bought out by the city. Thieves have now taken over.

Take this time to cherish every moment you have with family....! Never take it for granted, The time you lose can never be regained or made up.

I found the following poem and I have to say thank you to the author for the words so eloquently put.

I love my family so much.

To be apart of a family like mine

is so divine

where love is shown hurt is shared

our love for each other is never impaired

we talk

we laugh

we cry

but we are a family

and we do it all together

for as a family

we do it all as one

you hurt one

you hurt all

and as a family unit

we will all stand tall

for we are family a family

full of strength

a family full of love

a family no one can touch

that's why I love my family so much.

~Mahfooz Ali

TURN IT UP! TURN IT UP LOUD!!!"How You Live" by Point of Grace