服從到只一: Time Travel

One day as PC and I were taking a drive, a few songs came over the radio that took me back to my Junior High and High School years. I mentioned to PC that I was very sheltered growing up, in the sense that I wasn't allowed to go out to parties, go and hang out at friends houses, spend the night with girlfriends or have them come over. I can't really say that I was sheltered, but more so protected from the "bad" things out in the world, I was the baby and even more stressful, the baby of five.

I remember finally deciding that if I wanted to have any type of a normal teen-age life and experience the typical High School experiences, I had to join some sort of club or sport. Hence the cheer leading squad and gymnastics. I tried a few other clubs and organized sports, FHA, Library Club, Track Team (this one was short lived), but the main thing was to be able to use them as an excuse to get out for "meetings" and such and be able to hang out with friends.

I remember many Friday and Saturday nights, sitting at home, watching MTV, wishing that I was out with my friends or boyfriend, at Ascarate Lake, cruising around, pulling over on the side of the park and hanging out with the gang, or even hitting the parties that were going on that particular week-end. This was in the late 70's and graduating in 1980. I remember finally, after having my oldest son, going out to clubs. But alot of these old songs, take me back to sitting in front of the TV watching all the hits on MTV.

I remember many nights, sitting in my bedroom, in the living room... feeling lonely and crying over alot of these..(Come on, I did the typical girl thing...lol...) In those days, I always thought that I didn't have a normal life, looking back now, it really wasn't that bad. Mom probably did keep me out of alot of trouble that I would have gotten in to. I remember the final years of High School, one night coming home at 2 - 3 am and mom waiting for me. I knew it was not good... Sorry mom and dad, there are things that I do wish I could go back and change, but know in your hearts, that I'm doing good these days because of you both.

Every Breath You Take/The Police