"The Pivotal Moments In Life

I ran across this article as I was trying to sort out all the flurry going about in my brain with the new direction that my life is going and where it's been... I feel like I need to really stop and smell the roses, and take some time to focus on alot of the flurry and God's will.

I will share the article.

I attempted to find something online that would directly link you to the article itself, but nothing was found, so credit is here. I am so glad I ran in to her column...

Column

RIGHT Brain

by Karen Price

Once upon a time there was a little girl. Her parents loved her dearly and taught her many things. She learned right from wrong, how to be kind to others and to do her best. She matured and grew into a lovely young woman.

However, even the best parents in the world cannot prevent some bad things from happening in their children's lives. So, in high school, this young woman suffered her first big tragedy when a male friend and classmate died in an automobile accident. Then, as if that was not enough. Her heart was broken by the first boy who professed his love for her. Disillusionment set in, along with a dose of self doubt and questions about life. There was no protection and nowhere to hide. Life had dished out a pivotal moment and a process was set in motion.

Pivotal moments are events that shape and change our lives. They can be positive or negative, but are almost always life altering experiences that have a substantial impact.

Our internal and/or external worlds are usually dramatically different as a result of the event. Whatever the situation, we are confronted and challenged in ways we never imagined and in the process we are transformed. Our view of ourselves, others or life itself is altered and we have to scramble to to integrate our new world view. Throughout our lifetime we, as humans can expect that there will be significant events. No one or nothing can prevent or protect us from the ups and downs of life. How we deal with these events and how we incorporate them into our lives determines the kind of human being we will be, the quality of relationships we will have and the kind of life we will live.

While major life experiences can be positive or negative, generally it is the grave, difficult times that really make us feel chaotic and challenge us in ways we never thought possible. This turmoil forces us to evaluate our philosophies, relationships and beliefs or risk being stuck in unpleasantness. Although we may not ask for the event, we have to deal with it. In retrospect, the tough times often spur us to enormous growth. Likewise, when significant positive events occur, we must learn to completely experience and treasure the wonderful aspects of these times.

The reality is that we cannot always control people, places or things and the stories of life are not always happy. We must learn to "take the bad with the good." While we cannot always write the story and while we might not even like it, we do have the ability to create happy endings. It is up to us to make the outcome one that is favorable. The pessimist might respond to a difficult event by saying, "what's the point, what does it matter, why should I keep trying." The optimist might say, "good will ultimately come of this, I will do my best." Most likely the person who is bitter is blaming, unforgiving and does not forget. The person who is successful at surviving major life occurrences is flexible, loving, understanding and forgiving.

One of the cornerstones of mental health is resiliency, the ability to recover after life deals us a blow. It is a kind of elasticity, the knack of bouncing back after adversity, of returning to a solid state after being crushed. Those people that possess this quality are likely to roll with the punches of life. Being resilient does not mean being in denial or beign impervious to events. People who are resilient cope and develop philosophies to help them through the tough times. They overcome adversity. They adapt to change. They build alliances an dallow themselves to be supported. They trust the process of life.

Life in and of itself is a beautiful gift. Each and every one of us is personally responsible for how we handle life's challenges and rewards. When those pivotal moments occur, we have the opportunity to make choices. Moment to moment, we can impact life simply by the choices we make. Let us be good custodians of life and leave the world a better place for us having been in it. Let us seek the truth and live fully!

Karen Price
M.A., L.P.C., L.M.F.T., N.C.C., A.T.R.

Licensed Professional Counselor and Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice.