Saturday Musings...
A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing!" he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal to the metal even more. Looking in his rearview mirror, he saw the highway patrol behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.
"I can get away from him. No problem!" thought the elderly nutcase as he floored it to 100 mph, then 110 mph, then 120 mph. Suddenly, he thought, "What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense", pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the Trooper to catch up with him.
Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the driver's side of the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The man, looking very seriously at the Trooper, said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," said the Trooper.
SAN ANTONIO (Reuters) - Twenty-one penguins were rescued on a hot east Texas highway on Tuesday after a truck carrying the wildlife to a temporary home south of Houston overturned, said a state trooper.
Pictured above is a rockhopper penguin not a gentoo, which was the type of penguin loosed in Texas. The Rockhopper has been chosen as the official Penguin of Irony™® because among its distinguishing characteristics is “a slightly crazed look in its eyes.”
(Here's one for Xavier)
A Gun Refresher Course
A. An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject.
B. A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.
C. Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
D. Gun control is not about guns; it's about control.
E. If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?
F. If guns cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words.
G. Free men do not ask permission to bear arms.
H. If you don't know your rights you don't have any.
I. Those who trade liberty for security have neither.
J. The United States Constitution 1791. All Rights Reserved.
K. What part of "shall not be infringed" do you not understand?
L. The Second Amendment is in place in case they ignore the others.
M. 64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.
N. Guns only have two enemies: Rust and Politicians.
O. Know guns, know peace and safety. No guns, no peace nor safety.
P. You don't shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive.
Q. 911 - government sponsored Dial a Prayer.
R. Assault is a behavior, not a device.
S. Criminals love gun control - it makes their jobs safer.
T. If guns cause crime, then matches cause Arson.
U. Only a government that is afraid of its citizens tries to control them.
V. You only have the rights you are willing to fight for.
W. Enforce the "gun control laws" in place, don't make more.
X. When you remove the people's right to bear arms, you create slaves.
Y. The American Revolution would never have happened with Gun Control.
Z. " . . . a (system) governed by the people, for the people . . .
Best Police Department
In an effort to determine the top crime fighting agency in the country, the President narrowed the field to three finalists,the CIA, the FBI, and the Police Dept of a major city (pick one). The three remaining contenders were given the task of catching a rabbit which was released into the forest.
The CIA went into the forest. They placed animal informants throughout.They questioned all plant and mineral witnesses.After three months of extensive investigation they concluded that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI went into the forest. After two weeks without a capture, they burned the forest killing everything in it, including the rabbit. They made no apologies.The rabbit deserved it.
The City PD went into the forest. They came out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear was yelling " Okay, Okay, I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit".
DISCLAIMER:Although it is not our intention to insult or inflame anyone,some of the jokes may inadvertently offend certain individuals. If you offend easily please do not go any further.
posted by a faith bigger than fear at Saturday, September 30, 2006
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