Common Sense Defense
Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that, if you find yourselves the object of a stalker’s attention is to never, NEVER lead them back to where you live. Although it’s instinctive to return to the place where you feel safest, it’s absolutely the wrong thing to do in this case.
Head for an area where there are people and lights. Look for a police-man/woman. Do not allow yourself to get trapped in a confined space alone with the person you think is behind you.
The sensation of being hunted by one, two or more human beings can be almost paralyzing in its intensity. When that sixth sense kicks in and the hair on the back of your head bristles and stands straight up, it’s time to look behind you.
Change your route. It will make it more difficult for someone to plot your daily routine.
A little common sense also goes a long way to heading off a possible attack. Time and again in the roughest areas of the city I saw women carrying oversized purses on their shoulders, often with money, credit cards, and expensive sunglasses in plain view. I’ll never forget the old woman who carried her shopping money in a clear plastic purse. She may as well have hung a sign around her neck saying, “Rob me, please.”
There was a conversation that I had with Porta’s Cat this morning and I was sharing with him an experience that I had with my (then) 16 year old daughter (who is now 18) where we were going to Wal-Mart for a few things and ran across to what could have been an experience gone bad. I didn’t help the situation, if only I had not let my “motherly” and “Mexpsychan” womanly ways get the best of me… anyway, the situation went like this…
My daughter and I were both together... It was at the Wal-Mart here in Friendswood and the parking lot was packed with cars, but as we were parking the car, I had notice a guy (about in his late 20’s early 30’s) in a white truck that was parked in the middle of the parking lot, blocking cars that were already parked and causing cars to have to go around him. The guy was out of his truck and talking belligerently to some other guy that he was blocking in from pulling out. They were talking and as we walked by, I pulled my daughter to my right side away from them and as we walked past them, the belligerent one started mouthing off to my daughter asking her if she wanted to go out with him and just being stupid and crude with her. Here we are midway through the parking lot and the other guy he was with thought his actions were funny and was laughing... Needless to say, "ME" being a mother and a woman... became very pissed off to his forward actions and comments to my daughter... I proceeded to tell the freakin' IDIOT that he was talking to a 16 year old and that he needed to get on his way (my first mistake), (he was following us towards the store, leaving his truck) the guy then asked me if I would be interested or better yet, "both of us". DAMN! That was the wrong thing to say to me! I told my daughter to get to the entrance of the store as the security officer was there and directed her to have him come my way. Needless to say, I told that MF off (my second mistake) as he decided to get crude with me and my daughter. He saw that I was talking to the security officer and managed to think (how I don't know in his state) that his best bet was to leave. Well, I told the security officer what the truck looked like even pointed it out as he drove off. I informed the security officer that I was reluctant to walk back to my car alone after we were done with our shopping. The guy knew what I was driving and where we were parked. The security officer told me he would escort me to the car, just to look for him. A lot of good that was… when we came out, he was no-where to be found. It was a freakin' long walk back to my car, constantly looking around us! I don't go shopping at that Wal-Mart no more, but most importantly I do regret my actions in responding to the idiot, and even acknowledging him. I made my daughter nervous to say the least…not only did I attract more attention to us but put “us” in danger to what could have been something else more serious. My actions were no less an act of “stupidity”. I know better now, but I’m lucky to be able to say that now… or that I have my daughter still. The guy could have pulled out a gun a knife or just become irate and done some major damage to either one of us. Did I learn from that incident, yes! Did I respond with “Common Sense” actions… no… but I’ve learned from it.
As Porta’s Cat reminded me and he is rightfully in the perfect place to do so:
“When carrying a pistol, you have to be extra careful in that kind of thing, too. You can't go around and start shit, or retaliate to verbal nonsense, with the expectation that your gun is going to give you the edge. In fact, in some situations, if you pursue the verbal bullshit and end up shooting the guy (even rightfully and lawfully so), the civil court can have a field day with you, based upon your actions. Basically saying by stopping and fucking with him back, you escalated a situation that led to you having to shoot him. Not that you did anything wrong in your actions, only that "packing" changes the dynamics of things a lot in that sense. The bad thing, is as offensive as those things were, none are a capital crime deserving of the death penalty.”
Of course his comment was about MY situation... but it leaves us to really consider our actions in other situations as well.
I can also add a story to the reference made of “women” having common sense in how they carry their purses and how they “show off” their expensive taste in sunglasses, purses, etc... My daughter has or had (I hope) a bad habit… She
called me one day at work and asked me if I would bring to her the spare key to her car as she had locked hers in the car as she was trying to run in to a Mall Outlet Store, her work actually. After some fussing to her, (it wasn’t the first time) I took her the spare key, but she was no where to be found, so I decided to go to her car and get her keys out and take them in to her, well, what did I find to my surprise? She had left her cell phone and purse with her wallet (Lamb Purse at that, which go from $30 up to $200) on the front passenger seat while she ran in to the store quickly. I couldn’t believe her response to me when I asked her about her actions. “Mom, it’s not big deal, I wasn’t going to take long.”
Her actions were not good, especially in a mall parking lot. Someone casing out the parking lot leaves them to think, “This one will be easy to take”, either there in the parking lot or even follow her to a more secluded place, or even home. I can’t always be there to protect her as a mother would want to, but I can only hope that I can teach her better ways to be more conscious of her actions which would lessen the attention drawn to herself for a mugger, predator, and thief even. Did she use common sense…no…, let’s just hope she can learn early and not make too many mistakes in her life that would end up in her life being taken.
Head for an area where there are people and lights. Look for a police-man/woman. Do not allow yourself to get trapped in a confined space alone with the person you think is behind you.
The sensation of being hunted by one, two or more human beings can be almost paralyzing in its intensity. When that sixth sense kicks in and the hair on the back of your head bristles and stands straight up, it’s time to look behind you.
Change your route. It will make it more difficult for someone to plot your daily routine.
A little common sense also goes a long way to heading off a possible attack. Time and again in the roughest areas of the city I saw women carrying oversized purses on their shoulders, often with money, credit cards, and expensive sunglasses in plain view. I’ll never forget the old woman who carried her shopping money in a clear plastic purse. She may as well have hung a sign around her neck saying, “Rob me, please.”
There was a conversation that I had with Porta’s Cat this morning and I was sharing with him an experience that I had with my (then) 16 year old daughter (who is now 18) where we were going to Wal-Mart for a few things and ran across to what could have been an experience gone bad. I didn’t help the situation, if only I had not let my “motherly” and “Mexpsychan” womanly ways get the best of me… anyway, the situation went like this…
My daughter and I were both together... It was at the Wal-Mart here in Friendswood and the parking lot was packed with cars, but as we were parking the car, I had notice a guy (about in his late 20’s early 30’s) in a white truck that was parked in the middle of the parking lot, blocking cars that were already parked and causing cars to have to go around him. The guy was out of his truck and talking belligerently to some other guy that he was blocking in from pulling out. They were talking and as we walked by, I pulled my daughter to my right side away from them and as we walked past them, the belligerent one started mouthing off to my daughter asking her if she wanted to go out with him and just being stupid and crude with her. Here we are midway through the parking lot and the other guy he was with thought his actions were funny and was laughing... Needless to say, "ME" being a mother and a woman... became very pissed off to his forward actions and comments to my daughter... I proceeded to tell the freakin' IDIOT that he was talking to a 16 year old and that he needed to get on his way (my first mistake), (he was following us towards the store, leaving his truck) the guy then asked me if I would be interested or better yet, "both of us". DAMN! That was the wrong thing to say to me! I told my daughter to get to the entrance of the store as the security officer was there and directed her to have him come my way. Needless to say, I told that MF off (my second mistake) as he decided to get crude with me and my daughter. He saw that I was talking to the security officer and managed to think (how I don't know in his state) that his best bet was to leave. Well, I told the security officer what the truck looked like even pointed it out as he drove off. I informed the security officer that I was reluctant to walk back to my car alone after we were done with our shopping. The guy knew what I was driving and where we were parked. The security officer told me he would escort me to the car, just to look for him. A lot of good that was… when we came out, he was no-where to be found. It was a freakin' long walk back to my car, constantly looking around us! I don't go shopping at that Wal-Mart no more, but most importantly I do regret my actions in responding to the idiot, and even acknowledging him. I made my daughter nervous to say the least…not only did I attract more attention to us but put “us” in danger to what could have been something else more serious. My actions were no less an act of “stupidity”. I know better now, but I’m lucky to be able to say that now… or that I have my daughter still. The guy could have pulled out a gun a knife or just become irate and done some major damage to either one of us. Did I learn from that incident, yes! Did I respond with “Common Sense” actions… no… but I’ve learned from it.
As Porta’s Cat reminded me and he is rightfully in the perfect place to do so:
“When carrying a pistol, you have to be extra careful in that kind of thing, too. You can't go around and start shit, or retaliate to verbal nonsense, with the expectation that your gun is going to give you the edge. In fact, in some situations, if you pursue the verbal bullshit and end up shooting the guy (even rightfully and lawfully so), the civil court can have a field day with you, based upon your actions. Basically saying by stopping and fucking with him back, you escalated a situation that led to you having to shoot him. Not that you did anything wrong in your actions, only that "packing" changes the dynamics of things a lot in that sense. The bad thing, is as offensive as those things were, none are a capital crime deserving of the death penalty.”
Of course his comment was about MY situation... but it leaves us to really consider our actions in other situations as well.
I can also add a story to the reference made of “women” having common sense in how they carry their purses and how they “show off” their expensive taste in sunglasses, purses, etc... My daughter has or had (I hope) a bad habit… She
called me one day at work and asked me if I would bring to her the spare key to her car as she had locked hers in the car as she was trying to run in to a Mall Outlet Store, her work actually. After some fussing to her, (it wasn’t the first time) I took her the spare key, but she was no where to be found, so I decided to go to her car and get her keys out and take them in to her, well, what did I find to my surprise? She had left her cell phone and purse with her wallet (Lamb Purse at that, which go from $30 up to $200) on the front passenger seat while she ran in to the store quickly. I couldn’t believe her response to me when I asked her about her actions. “Mom, it’s not big deal, I wasn’t going to take long.”
Her actions were not good, especially in a mall parking lot. Someone casing out the parking lot leaves them to think, “This one will be easy to take”, either there in the parking lot or even follow her to a more secluded place, or even home. I can’t always be there to protect her as a mother would want to, but I can only hope that I can teach her better ways to be more conscious of her actions which would lessen the attention drawn to herself for a mugger, predator, and thief even. Did she use common sense…no…, let’s just hope she can learn early and not make too many mistakes in her life that would end up in her life being taken.
posted by a faith bigger than fear at Thursday, March 02, 2006
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